Stop Blocking, Start Connecting
Over 90% of the communication problems that plague our life are the dreadful barriers that get in the way of happy relationships and productive interactions. Most of the drama we experience is caused by communication blockers, the regretful words that spring off the tips of our tongues or fingers, ready to cause conflict and chaos.Stop Blocking, Start Connecting shows readers how to transform relationships by recognizing where they get blocked, reducing bad communication habits, removing the 8 common blockers and replacing them with 8 powerful connectors.
Blocker #1: Fixing
- Creates co-dependence
- Removes responsibility
- Leads to more problems
Connector #1: Empowering
- Focus on desirable outcomes + serve as a sounding board
- Help them arrive at their own solutions
- Champion others by providing encouraging words and reminding them of past successes
- Share your method for arriving at decisions – don’t decide for them
Blocker #2: Topping
- Shifts focus from speaker
- Dwarfs the speaker’s issue
- Can lead to increased anxiety
Connector #2: Listening
- Focus your attention on the story and details that they are sharing
- Avoid jumping in with your similar experience
- Listen to them and don’t shift the focus to you
- Understand and relate but don’t one-up or compare
Blocker #3: Multi-tasking
- Divides attention
- Makes others feel unimportant
- Ignores and alienates
- Doesn’t allow for eye contact
Connector #3: Focusing
- Be present and alert
- Make eye contact
- Concentrate on your conversation
- Avoid distractions like technology
- Connect with their words and the feelings behind those words
Blocker #4: Trivalizing
- “I’m drowning” –
“You’re a great swimmer!” - Doesn’t acknowledge our feelings
- Can make us feel lonely or more anxious
Connector #4: Validating
- Remember what it was like not to know
- Recognize the worthiness and legitimacy of their concern
- Don’t diminish their problem
- Provide supportive words that will validate their feelings and position
- Recognize the many activities and subjects that make you feel clueless
- Use your knowledge to help others grow and develop
Blocker #5: Analyizing
- Makes others feel judged
- Makes others feel unappreciated and misunderstood
- Makes the problem seem
bigger or deeper
Connector #5: Appreciating
- Value their perspective & manner of seeing / experiencing the world
- Respect their opinion
- Appreciate their approach
- Avoid judging and evaluating
- Appreciate their unique talents
& skills
Blocker #6: Interrogating
- Disrupts, interrupts and frustrates
- Takes speaker off topic and on tangents
- Draws conversation out
Connector #6: Understanding
- Seek to understand the issue
- Listen wholeheartedly
- Hear them out completely
before interjecting with questions - Ask relevant questions that
probe the situation - Don’t doubt them or make assumptions
Blocker #7: Chastising
- Belittles the person sharing the issue
- Demeans, disrespects and discourages
- Leads to resentment and avoidance
Connector #7: Responding
- Be proactive by focusing on the desirable outcome
- Resist reactive communication
- Don’t use chastising words that demean and discourage
- Discuss and demonstrate appropriate / preferred actions
Blocker #8: Over-Sympathizing
- Victimizes and renders the
person powerless - Removes control and capability
- Can lead to feeling awkward
and uncomfortable
Connector #8: Empathizing
- Acknowledge their emotions
- Be compassionate and merciful
- Don’t victimize them
- Don’t make them feel helpless
and powerless
How to Enhance Your Interactions with Colleagues & Clients
Though unintended, and often unconscious, we all communicate in ways that prevent us from being present and receptive in our professional interactions, interfering with our desired business objective to attract and retain clients. This experiential program provides participants with the know-how to identify these obstacles, and replace them with communication tools that enhance client engagement and retention. Participants will also be introduced to the most recent research on how to create connections that turn current clients into referral sources.
Common scenarios that raise communication challenges
We will show you how to pinpoint the reason you feel deflated, disappointed, devastated and frustrated whenever you interact with certain people in your life, and how to prevent and preempt downward spirals in conversations. We will also introduce you to the eight powerful communication connectors, which will allow you to build positive and productive relationships with key people in your personal and professional life. Again, there are countless ways to connect with others, yet I’ve found that replacing each blocker with one of these central connectors is immediately effective: Empowering, relating, focusing, validating, appreciating, understanding, responding and empathizing. I’ll go into the emotional and psychological drivers behind each of the blockers, and offer you tips, tools and takeaways to create connection.
Communication & Collaborative Leadership Trainer
Lee Broekman
Principal
As an expert in persuasion, presentation and interpersonal communication, Lee trains decision makers in top organizations to communicate and manage naturally and effectively. Lee is a frequent speaker in legal and business gatherings. She coaches AmLaw 100 law firm leaders and senior managers of Fortune 1000 companies. Lee has taught courses at USC’s Annenberg School for Communication and Marshall School of Business, and guest teaches at the UCLA School of Law. A richly varied background in political communications as an L.A. City Council spokesperson, campaign media advisor, ambassadorial scholar to the Netherlands and political lobbyist, has ultimately laid the strong foundation (and countless stories) Lee has to teach professionals to work with different people under stressful situations.
Direct: 818-212-9196 | Office: 424-248-3267 | Email: lee@organiccomm.com
Get In Touch!
We look forward to collaborating with you
We here at Organic Communication are committed to helping you. To learn more finding the right solution for your leadership development, team or organization, please contact Lee Broekman at lee@organiccomm.com or by 818-212-9196.
